Constrictor, Professional Russian


Waxing poetic on subjects such as addiction, murder, greed and the general decline of Western civilization while retaining a sense of levity is nothing short of a tall order. However, it is this schizophrenic juxtaposition that is at the very core of Constrictor. Combining blasts of naked aggression with dual guitar fireworks and a knack for bombastic melody, the band's music is a joyous reminder of everything there is to love about rock and roll... ..As a band, we in Constrictor believe in the time-honored ethics of community, trust, and friendship. That being said, please don't send us any form letters asking us to play your battle of the bands, join your super-sick artist development program, take your four-eyed bucktoothed sister on a date, or enhance her pleasure by making our boners bigger with your new magic formula. If you are in a band and need a show, send us a nice letter and if we're interested, we'll see what we can do. Otherwise, please don't facilitate the decline of the independent music scene any further by depersonalizing things in an effort to promote your future rock superstardom.



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