W*A*S*H: An experimental variety show.
Cougar On A Meth Binge, Todd Haemmerle, The Clarences, The Slow Poisoner, George Chen, Ali Brown, Scott Simpson, The East Bay 3 (W*A*S*H house band)
1695 Polk St
San Francisco, CA, 94109
Doors 7:00 PM / Show 7:30 PM
This event is 21 and over
Watch & Listen
W*A*S*H (We're All Stars Here)
A LIVE night of Comedy and Music showcasing Bay Area talent -- 21st century vaudeville meets experimental variety show, every Thursday night at 7:00.
Cougar On A Meth Binge
C.O.A.M.B is an indie folk band from Oakland, California. Their hobbies include Trivial Pursuit, mushroom hunting and thinking up ill-suited band names.
As a college music major, classical guitarist TODD HAEMMERLE won awards for every year of his music education, including the Chair Award, Instrumentalist of the Year, and Musician of the Year. He later moved to Oakland and was a Music Analyst for Pandora Radio, analyzing more than 10,000 songs for their Music Genome Project. For the last three years, Todd has served the elderly in the Bay Area by performing hundreds of shows in Retirement Homes, Assisted Living, and Skilled Nursing Facilities. He has also been leading worship at Re:generation church in Oakland since 2011. He is currently writing and compiling songs for what will be his debut LP, to be released early next year.
In various incarnations, the Clarences have been wowing, dazzling, and sometimes confusing audiences with their glamtastic makeup, alarm-sounding costumes, and insidiously catchy melodies about cocktail waitresses and superheroes. Songs like "Speak Freedom Sunny Dome" caught the attention of legendary producer/manager Kim Fowley (the Runaways, Sirius Satellite Radio), who cast the band in his 2012 movie, 'Golden Road to Nowhere.' For W*A*S*H's opening night, Robert A. Medeiros and Leslie Outhier will be harmonizing up a storm and leaving a trail of glitter in their wake.
The Slow Poisoner
The Slow Poisoner (alias Andrew Goldfarb) is a one-man-surrealistic-rock-and-roll-band from San Francisco. He strums a guitar shaped like a dying swan and sings about swamp women, weeping willows, furtive rituals, cosmic paranoia, creeping fungi, forgotten diseases and witches in the woods. He keeps time by thumping on a kick drum rigged with sleigh bells, and while performing displays elaborately... painted signs that bear the title of each song being sung.
Originally he was the leader of a five piece band, but over time the group slowly became thinner and thinner as the other members drifted off into mystery. Eventually an apparition of an eight- fisted cephalopod (the Rocktopus) instructed Andrew to go it alone, and since 2005 that is what he has done, touring the country repeatedly and playing venues that range from libraries to science fiction conventions, beauty parlors and laundromats.
In keeping with the tradition of the one-man-band as snake oil salesman, he sells his own patent medicine. Bottles of The Slow Poisoner's Miracle Tonic are brewed with pure egyptian oil and have proven effective in the treatment of Consumption, Women's Troubles, Gout, Neuralgia, Wandering Limbs, Stoutness, Onanism, Disinterested Bladder, Elephantiasis, Cholera, Barnacles and Boils, The Fits, Excessive Abscesses, Necrosis, Lavender Fever and General Wasting.
Andrew is also the author and illustrator of the long-running underground comic strip "Ogner Stump's One Thousand Sorrows" and the novels "Ballad of a Slow Poisoner" and "Slub Glub in the Weird World of the Weeping Willows."
George Chen has finally found a proper outlet for his brand of sarcasm and self-deprecation. These traits were ill-suited to the other worlds he has occupied as a musician, writer, and filler of 1099 forms. As a promoter he has organized comedy shows on a moving bus, at a still-life drawing session, and inside a comic book store. As a musician he has played in the bands KIT, Boxleitner and Chen Santa Maria, and for the past 15 years he has run the record label Zum. As a performer he has appeared at Holy Fuck, Venice Underground Comedy, The Business, and the Porchlight Storytelling Series. Other credits: Jandek’s guitar tech.
As a child, Ali Brown was quoted as saying that her dream in life was to be a “shelf organizer at 7-11.” Fifteen years later, here she is as a stand-up comedian. She has performed all over the Bay Area, most notably at The Purple Onion. One year into her comedy career she finally performed at her own learning institution in the hopes of persuading the board to add a shelf organizing course.
Also bringing the comedies to this bill are SCOTT SIMPSON, co-host of the "You Look Nice Today" podcast, and the venerable GEORGE CHEN of Lost Weekend's Cynic Cave. Supplying the house-band Rhodes thrills and Rickenbacker trills are none other than EB3.
The East Bay 3 (W*A*S*H house band)
The gents of the East Bay 3 have mastered telepathy, subliminal body language, and reflex training to sharpen their skills as accompanists. Want them to back you on "Billie Jean," done as a bossa-nova? Done. Want to stop on the chorus of a B-side by the Cure to tell your Robert Smith story? Got it. Want to sing "The Greatest Love of All" over a Sex Pistols riff? Roger that. Each week, new musical guests and audience members throw heavy objects at the EB3, and each week, some blood is left on the stage. The Rev. Gil Gilmartin, a former resident of Brazil, wears his thunderbass high; Kevin Seal, from Griddle and Pandora's music team, experiments on a Fender Rhodes; session drummer and studio wizard Adam White is widely known as The Most Followable Drummer In The Western Hemisphere. The EB3's motto? "The singer is always right."