Last Rites Present...
Captured! by Robots
I Love Rich, Beast Warrior, The Hamburglars
3855 North Lincoln Avenue
Chicago, IL, 60613-3544
Doors 8:00 PM / Show 8:30 PM
This event is 21 and over
Captured! by Robots
Captured! By Robots is Trippin' Balls Spring tour 2013
"Do you like riding unicorns? Have you met Ashy Larry? What is the meaning of the universe? Why is this rock so squishy as I bash your head in? What did that cat say to me? Got crack?
All your questions will be answered at the “C!BR is Trippin’ Balls” Spring tour. This is a
new era for C!BR. We are branching out, trying new things, finding a new path, eating babies.
Be prepared to go on a trip like you’ve never gone on before. A place where up is down, where Vietnamese sandwiches dance with rabbits, where dildo trombones fuck your face for eternity. Things can happen, things will happen. When was the last time you really lived? Really?
Come out and witness 5 real robots and one idiot human explore the mind. Be brave, my child.
Captured! by Robots is a touring musical comedy troupe with only one human member. It is part-concert and part-performance act, made up of three robots, two stuffed apes, three "headless hornsmen" playing backup brass, and their human, "JBOT".
The group is composed of JBOT, the human "slave" to the robots (whose intestines hang from his abdomen); DRMBOT 0110, a severed doll's head that plays the drums; GTRBOT666, who plays bass and guitar; AUTOMATOM, the assistant drummer created by robots, The Ape Which Hath No Name who plays tambourine halo; The Son of the Ape Which Hath No Name, who plays Monkey Cymbals; and the Headless Hornsmen, a full three-piece horn section.
The C!BR backstory claims that the human, in an attempt to make his own band, created the robots. Instead of following him, they revolted, pulled out his intestines and eyes, and now force him to travel the world with them, performing music and making him contemplate the inferiority of the human race.
I Love Rich
Judging by the song titles on I Love Rich's Season Of The Rich EP, you don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out that this is going to be full of sexual innuendos. Actually, forget the innuendos, with titles like "Let's Fuck All Night" and "Everybody's Getting Laid Tonight", they aren't hinting or alluding to anything, they've just come straight out with it. There is a cheesy element about I Love Rich. Lead singer Rich does a good job of convincing the listener that he knows how great he and his band are, but in a farcical kind of a way. From their official site and myspace page, these guys are indeed amusing, with Rich proclaiming about himself, 'He's the king of rock'n'roll, all the ladies want his jock, King Kong ain't got shit on him'. And as much as he probably wants us to believe it, I'm more inclined to guess his tongue is firmly in his cheek. I've seen I Love Rich live, and it's an entertaining show with a party atmosphere because they have that vibe in their music. Unless you are humorless or are easily offended, you really can't help but crack a smile at this.
Although I Love Rich don't seem to take themselves too seriously, they shouldn't be dismissed because musically they aren't a parody or joke at all. They appear to be pretty accomplished musicians with some tasty riffs and big drums. Rich himself sounds a lot like Paul Stanley which, considering Kiss' massive fan base, isn't a bad thing.
All the songs do have a sameness about them, but then again so do AC/DC and that hasn't done them any harm. Season Of The Rich is a straight ahead mix of punk rock and glam with a smirk on its face. It won't set the world on fire, but it's perfect if you fancy opening a few cold ones at home and re-creating the feeling that you are out at a sweat soaked bar having a good time with I Love Rich.
Combining a slavish devotion to guitar harmonies with an unnatural obsession with fantastical genitalia, BEAST WARRIOR is Chicago's only name in erotic fantasy metal. Birthed before the origins of the sun, but formed in 2008, the pre-eminent masters of the void supply eager listeners with a journey to the depths of Satan's colon.
Stand upon the sands of the arena and gird thy loins for battle. When BEAST WARRIOR takes the stage, blood and ale flow in abundance, and every person slakes their thirst.
From the desk of the Burger Master General:
The public should be on he look out for a dastardly group of burger thieves known as The Hamburglars. These miscreants are obsessed with cheeseburgers and will swipe them right before your eyes. They have cunningly disguised themselves as band that play a rowdy brand of garage rock mixed with familiar elements of pop culture.
Eye witness accounts report that audience members appear mesmerized by The Hamburglars' new but familiar sound & have been heard leaving venues repeating The Hamburglars' mantra, "Robble, Robble, Robble Cheeseburger."
This rock-n-roll spell cast upon unsuspecting audience members causes dancing, cheering and uncontrollable robbling. On several occasions concert goers have returned to their bar stools to sadly discover their cheeseburgers were gone. But after a moment, and a "Robble, Robble" they forgot they even had a cheeseburger and went on enjoying the show.
This is the power of "The Robble" and The Hamburglars wield this power with a greasy rock-n-rock spatula. Authorities ask for the public's assistance in capturing and containing these burger hoodlums. Therefore, we requests all citizens be on the lookout for The Hamburglars...attend their performances...blend in by dancing and cheering...watch your burgers & never forget the power of "The Robble." That is all.
Don W. Chiez
Burger Master General