THE STORY OF METALACHI…On a hot summer night in Veracruz Mexico circa 1982, Consuela Espinoza stumbled out of her dilapidated shanty and into Rock N Roll history. What began as an innocent night of snorting horse tranquilzers in a hotel room with seven members of the village jai alai team went on to produce the greatest metal band to ever live. Unhampered by a steady regime of tequila and ill advised sumo lessons, nine months later five bastard children where born. Unable to care for her hungry offspring and concerned that motherhood would seriously interfere with her Tuesday night Karaoke league, Consuela hastily packed the babies into the saddlebags of a burro and sent her children off to America in search of a better life. Against all odds, 14 years later, and nearly dead from dehydration, the burro knelt down to drink from the stagnant waters of the Rio Grande just ouside of Juarez Mexico –mere yards from the U.S. border. With one fleeting burst of energy the brothers Espinoza cinco climbed from their leather restraints and scampered the vast reaches of the river, collapsing onto the sweet amber hue of American soil. As if by destiny, lodged in the sand beneath their tanned faces was a record sleeve upon which were the words “PARANOID” and “BLACK SABBATH”. For many years to follow, this definitive black metal album served not only as a teacher and a mentor..but also as a friend. From these bleak and humble begins grew the seed that would eventually be the band we know today. Often referred to as the greatest heavy metal band to ever live..always referred to as…METALACHI.

The Fun Police

The Fun Police: Who Are These Silly Bullies in Blue?

THE CALL OF DUTY
Living in these modern times, one can always find constant reminders of the laws that protect us from danger, and also in some cases fun. In that irony lies the birthplace of The Fun Police. Gradually rounding out a few tunes, the original members drew inspiration upon the adventures of exploring throughout rural Washington. From this point began the recruitment process. Only the trusted could join, no corrupt elements were allowed. The Fun Police have a lot of history together, musically and personally. The songs sung by this fun force were composed floating rivers, spelunking vacant mines, pub crawling sidewalks, and summoning a higher power in the presence of a campfire.

THE LINE UP
Ranger Ruffhousen and recurring member Special Agent Sam share noble musical history on their belts, most notably being Helter Skipper and the Gilligan Mansons, Cheeky White Devils, and The Xenophiles. Sergeant Snake, Brigadier B.Ski, and Deputy D. prior to putting on a uniform, dabbled amongst many different incarnations together: Grasshopper II, Ladle of Gruel, and lastly Philo Gant. They rocked the Pacific Northwest and beyond but decided to become full-time Fun Police members in June ‘08. Many musical talents have contributed to the history of the Fun Police and often join us on stage for special events. We thank them for their years of service: Officer Orange-Fuzz, Sergeant Snake, Special Agent Sam, Major Munk, Special Agent Sub-Zero, Veteran V.Dub, Major Mullet, and Officer Cox.

The band is comprised of metal workers, box makers, bartenders, cable operators, interpreters, tinkerers, cartoonists, Mormons, Catholics, Atheists, Agnostics, Technocrats, Neo-Luddites, slackers, stoners, go-getters, vagabonds, male sluts, and virgins.

THE MUSIC
The Fun Police are equipped with an ever-growing versatile arsenal primarily consisting of a viola, accordion, several vocalists, guitars, bass, drums, djembe, tambourine, glockenspiel, various flutes, clarinet, horns, and other secret weapons. The tempo is mostly upbeat and dance-able. The tunes vary from folk, to reggae, to country, to punk, to experimental, and back again. The Fun Police don’t work really well with The Genre Police. As a whole The Fun Police are a tasty mix for consumption, an all-day cooked stew, or a delicious homemade pico de gallo for dipping. To some it might be an acquired taste like bacon, coffee, or donuts. The FP consider it a crime to take themselves too seriously, and are seldom seen arresting each other.

$12.00 - $15.00

Off Sale

Who’s Going

Upcoming Events
Fawcett Hall at Alma Mater